Robby#2-cubed

If you've been following OSNS regularly, I'm sure it came as no surprise to you that Robby delivers occasional pep talks to his fantasy football team, and from time to time benches his stars to "get their attention." (See "It's More Than Just Start/Sit," his latest post, below.)

But allow me to digress. There's a corny story I just have to tell you because . . . I love this stuff.

When my oldest son, Matt, started playing football for Staples High School, Robby -- yes, the same wiseguy 17-year-old who co-authors this blog with me -- was just a little three-year-old rugrat motoring around the bleachers and amazing the fans by reciting the names, positions, and jersey numbers of every player on the Staples squad. (This, obviously, was an early telltale of the idiot-savant qualities that would later enable him to retain more information bits about the NFL and fantasy football than any other mortal.) And the Staples player who really caught his attention was Robbie Rice. Rice was an electric tailback who helped lead the Wreckers to the state championship game -- but I think the real reason he became Robby's favorite is the obvious one: They shared the same first name. Rice, by the way, wore #2 on his jersey.

A few years later, when my middle son, Greg, was playing for Staples, their star was a tailback-turned-quarterback named Robbie Krauss, who led the Wreckers not only to the state championship game, but to the state championship. Again, same first name. Again, #2.

So I guess it was no big shock that when our Robby began playing PAL football in third grade, his jersey choice was #2. Or that he's been wearing it ever since.

Now I hadn't seen Rice or Krauss in awhile, but a few weeks ago I learned that Robbie Krauss has been keeping up electronically with Robby Herman from time to time -- via Facebook or Twitter or whatever. (I understand as much about Facebook, Twitter, and the rest of the social network Never-Neverland as I do about fantasy football.) And in the final minutes of Staples' 42-20 blowout win over Harding last Saturday, I saw the two of them having a catch behind the bench. (Former Wreckers are always welcome on the sideline.)

When the game was over, as we waited at the gate to high-five the players, Krauss came over and gave my wife a big hug and me a big man-hug. "Robby had a great game," he told us, "and I like the way he looks in #2."

Guess things had come full circle.

-Hank

It's More Than Just Start/Sit

For yet another time, my dad stubbornly tried to fight away his longing to manage a fantasy football team. Sure, he has (had) fun with Survival Football -- for the whole one week he was in it. But playing Survival and not Fantasy is like going to a movie and leaving after the coming attractions. There's a reason the main topic at offices throughout America on Monday mornings is who got a W in their fantasy league. This phenomenon runs the male football-loving world for four months a year. And I know my dad wants in.

With my senior year class work, college applications, and football practice, I don't have as much time as I'd like to spend on my fantasy team. However, I'm still pulling all the right strings with my players psychologically. You probably just read that and thought, "What on Earth is he talking about? Fantasy football is just Xs and Os, who's gonna have a good game and who's not." Sure, it seems that way. But it goes much deeper.

To be a successful fantasy football manager, you must have the respect of your players, and they have to want to play hard for you. But at the same time, you can't be afraid to put them in their place and send them a message.

For example, I have two great quarterbacks on my team: Tom Brady and Kyle Orton. Brady is clearly my starter, and there is no real need for me to roster Orton. In fact, I could probably get pretty decent value back for him in a trade. But I don't want Brady to get complacent. He needs to be pushed every day in practice. So Orton will remain on my squad for now.

I have two star receivers, Brandon Marshall and Calvin Johnson, who seemingly should start on my team every week. Johnson started off slow this season, and instead of keeping him in the starting lineup like I "should have," I benched him for Malcom Floyd, a lesser-known, unproven player. I didn't do this because I thought Floyd would accumulate more points, but because Johnson needed a kick in the rear end to demonstrate the need for him to perform.

Sure enough, my decision backfired, as Johnson greatly outplayed Floyd while he was parked on my bench. But I stand by it. If I hadn't made the move, Calvin would've kept strolling along at his unsatisfactory slow pace.

You, my dad, pretty much everyone out there probably thinks I'm nuts right now. So be it. Keep managing your team the way you want to. Just don't come crying to me in December when you're watching the fantasy playoffs from your living room couch.

-Robby

Great news! OLD SCHOOL, NEW SCHOOL has been picked up by the Hearst Connecticut Media Group and will appear on the websites of the Connecticut Post, Stamford Advocate, Greenwich Time, and Danbury News-Times. Check it out here.

Survival

Normally I'm tempted to react to Robby's rants (see "BBall's back," his most recent post), but even though I'm an NBA junkie, and as much as I want to get excited about Amar'e, Gallo, Timofey Mozgov and Co. -- I cannot be drawn into talking about hoops while my two football teams are playing lights out.

As today's NFL action winds down, my J-E-T-S have won five in a row, they're sitting comfortably atop the standings in the AFC East, and mentioning them as Super Bowl contenders is no longer just drivel out of Sexy Rexy's mouth. And Robby's high school team, the Staples Wreckers, are undefeated at 5-0, and are the third-ranked team in the state.

Robby, by the way, continues to taunt me about being one of only eight males in America without a fantasy football team. And it occurs to me that I never revealed how shockingly close I actually came to being sucked into that fray. The fact is, though I don't always admit it, I really do like to share experiences with my youngest and final son -- so I approached some other Wreckers dads about forming a low-key, low-maintenance, maniac-free fantasy league in which all members would vow to do absolutely no "studying," and weekly preparation would be strictly limited by mutual agreement.

First I recruited Rick into the Staples Wreckers Dads Fantasy Football League, and then I enlisted Tom. Next I turned to Joe, who I thought would be another perfect fit. Joe looked me in the eye and said, "There is nothing I would less like to do than join a fantasy football league." His statement snapped me out of the spell Robby had cast over me, because there's also nothing I would less like to do than join a fantasy football league. So much for "sharing" with my son. And so much for the SWDFFL.

Though I don't miss for a minute being part of fantasy football lunacy, I do regret having bowed out of Survival Football in the very first week of the season. Last year I made it to Week 5, when I finally succumbed by allowing Robby to bait me into taking the Jets over the Dolphins when there were still much safer picks available. This year I was determined to play with my head instead of my heart, and studied diligently for over an hour before making my Week 1 pick: San Diego over Kansas City. The Chiefs, a team I pegged for awful, not only won that game, but went 3-0 before losing a game.

At least Robby (he called his team WEEK 2 HOPEFULS, since he hasn't made it past Week 1 in the last three seasons) was also eliminated on opening day, so I didn't have to hear about it from him. He had the Chargers, too. It was one of the few times we ever agreed on anything -- and look where it got us. Clearly, not a good idea . . .

-Hank

Great news! OLD SCHOOL, NEW SCHOOL has been picked up by the Hearst Connecticut Media Group and will appear on the websites of the Connecticut Post, Stamford Advocate, Greenwich Time, and Danbury News-Times. Check it out here.

BBall's Back

Here we are in mid-October, and for some reason, the horrifically boring game of baseball is still prevalent on my TV. By no means is this my choice, but I can't avoid it. Baseball playoff games. Highlights of baseball playoff games. Baseball umpires blowing easy, meaningful calls. These calls not getting reviewed by instant replay. (Don't even get me started on that issue.). Press conferences about how bad baseball umpires are. For one more month, baseball is everywhere. People think I hate it because my Mets have been mathematically eliminated since early July. I think it's because I can change my clothes, get a snack, brush my teeth, and come back during the same at bat.

In the world of the NFL, there has been nothing to complain about. The Dolphins are only 2-2, but I have a lot of confidence about the rest of the year. My fantasy team, Henne a la Vodka (named after Fins QB Chad Henne), is rolling along at 5-0 for the best start in Westport Fantasy Football League history. But the Monday-Saturday (or Tuesday-Saturday if we're gonna get technical) void that I covered last week is still there.

But as Lee Corso always says....

"NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND."

Because basketball is back.

Sure, it's only preseason, but watching Miami Thrice play together on one court was a pretty sight. And LeBron vs. Durant was even better. In my opinion, the NBA has been down for the past few years. The playoffs are always great, but I would never find myself in early October counting down the days until Opening Night. This year is different. We're only 16 days away from Heat-Celtics, and my mouth is watering just thinking about it.

There are zero flaws with the NFL, but it's the Wednesday nights on the couch with nothing to do but Calculus homework that are killer. Those nights are now gone. No more reruns of Entourage. No more going to bed early just because there is nothing better to do. The void has officially been filled.

-Robby

Great news! OLD SCHOOL, NEW SCHOOL has been picked up by the Hearst Connecticut Media Group and will appear on the websites of the Connecticut Post, Stamford Advocate, Greenwich Time, and Danbury News-Times. Check it out here.

Auto-Pilot

I found Robby's last post -- about the exhilaration and perfection of an NFL Sunday -- very lyrical, very heartfelt, very touching . . . but also a little vague, as if maybe he was avoiding something. It's interesting that after half a dozen posts about the Jets-Dolphins showdown, there was not a word from Robby about how it turned out. Somehow I'm thinking if the game had gone the other way, I would have heard about it, loud and clear. Ah, well . .

But if he can change the subject, then so can I. I want to get back to fantasy football for just a minute. I heard Robby talking fantasy to his older brother Matt last night. When he got off the phone, he said to me, "You think I spend a lot of time on fantasy. (And yes, I would say finagling with your roster maybe 10 hours a week, plus spending the entire previous summer cramming, is a lot.) Well, Matt spends twice as much time -- and he still stinks at it."

Funny, the correlation between time spent obsessing about fantasy and actual success. Last week I had drinks with an old friend from Philadelphia. Now, compared to the sports fanatics in my family, this guy considers himself an amateur, so I was quite surprised to hear he'd joined a fantasy league. He told me he'd been roped in by a bunch of friends, but that he drafted his whole team by autopick, and that he manages in the same hands-off way. He spends exactly zero minutes a week studying injury reports, and agonizes not at all over roster moves -- because he doesn't make any. After Week Three, he told me, he got an e-mail from the commissioner: Congratulations, you're in second place. This, in a league where the rest of the guys were maneuvering their brains out!

This reminded me of the March Madness pool I join every year, consisting of my sports-freak sons, their sports-freak friends, a couple of random dads like me, and a smattering of girlfriends. And you know who generally winds up at the top of the charts? Of course -- the girlfriends.

To be fair, Robby, who studies and prepares for all his fantasy leagues like the true maniac he is, generally does very, very well. (A future, maybe, in fantasy consultancy?) But for the rest of us, a little knowledge . . .

Btw, the photo above is one I like of Robby taking down all-everything back Mike Rivas of Trinity Catholic in Week One of the current high school football season. It has nothing whatsoever to do with this post . . . but I'm his dad.

-Hank

Great news! OLD SCHOOL, NEW SCHOOL has been picked up by the Hearst Connecticut Media Group and will appear on the websites of the Connecticut Post, Stamford Advocate, Greenwich Time, and Danbury News-Times. Check it out here.